Back when I used to go clubbing fairly often (yes, your resident Geektress used to dress skimpy and dance all sexy-like when she was a newly-minted 21 year old), one of the dilemmas I often encountered was where in the world to store all my club-hoppin’ necessities. Purses, for me anyway, were right out. Not only are they cumbersome when you’re trying to do your best “come hither” shimmy, but there was always the very real chance that the charmer you were cavorting wasn’t so much clutching to you as he was trying to steal your clutch. Some girls used the tried-and-true “money in the bra” method, but my bra was otherwise occupied. Y’know, with boobs. So that meant always wearing something with pockets, and carefully avoiding the Grabby McGrabberhands guys who’d come my way. (And what fun is that?) If only something like the Speck CandyShell Card case had existed back then! … Of course, back in 2001 having a flip-phone meant you were on the cutting edge of technology.
Damn, I feel old!
The Speck CandyShell Card iPhone 4 Case is perfectly sleek and stylish on its own – but turn it over and you’ll find a clever and discrete slot to store up to 3 credit cards, your license, and even a bit of cash. The rubberized slot holds everything securely, and a handy thumb release puts your cards literally at your fingertips whenever needed.
Now all I have to do is actually obtain an iPhone 4, hmmm. Perhaps I can perform a hypnotic “buy me a smartphone” dance. Baby, these hips don’t lie!
If this truly works as advertised, start pledging allegiance to the Rising Sun, kegger-goers. But first, as a public service announcement, kiddos: public drunkenness doesn’t just present safety hazards when some Apprentice Sheen jumps behind a wheel – it’s also pretty rude. After all, what kind of game does anybody really have with a mouth that smells like the bottom of a Pabst can?
Well, Drunk-san, get a handle on advertising yourself as a third-degree black belt lush before you get carried away. Get yourself the Etiquette Checker personal Breathalyzer and bad breath tester.
This isn’t your typical frat brother’s Breathalyzer. No, sir. This plastic, AAA battery-powered beauty not only presents your Blood Alcohol Level in 0.5 increments, but also grades your mouth-stank on a 1-to-6 scale: a “6″ indicating that blowing a kiss could KO a Jersey Shore cast member at 50 paces.
Averting humiliation should be priceless. But if some still need convincing, the retailers are currently pledging that 5 percent of every purchase will benefit the works of the Japan Red Cross Society and Medecins Sans Frontieres, aiding earthquake and tsunami victims. A final caution, though: whatever this thing tells you, if you need an electronic test to gauge whether you can safely drive, you shouldn’t. Make us here at Geek Gems happy and call a ride.
I’m picky about my computer keyboards in the same way that I’m a wine “connoisseur”: I like ‘em sweet and cheap. And when it comes to keyboards, that sweet spot is what I call a “typist’s keyboard” – meaning there’s enough depth to the keys to provide a bit of give/weight; the keys are moderately slick to the touch and untextured; fancy shortcut keys are easily forgone for a small(ish) profile and simplistic style. My current keyboard is so plain it doesn’t even have an indication of manufacturer, but it performs like a champ. Unfortunately though, it’s been plagued by what always ultimately kills my keyboards: with continued use, the letters keep on wearing off.
Enter the brilliantly useful glowing stickers keyboard decals.
What I love about these particular glowing keyboard stickers are that they are not “glow in the dark” in the same way as those totally groovy stars we used to stick all over our ceilings. These require some ambient light to shine (like the light, say, from your computer monitor) so they provide excellent visibility only when *you* want them to glow. That means no wacky glowing keyboard to distract you when your attention is turned to non-computing matters. (Bow chicka.)
I can forsee these being really useful not only to atone for wayward letters that have long since rubbed off to sunnier pastures, but when you’re playing an intense game in semi-darkness as I like to do, a little keyboard illumination is always useful. I don’t mean to glow’t (lawl!) but while I personally type 95 wpm, I have never quite figured out touch-typing for the number row. (Go ahead, dock me “nerd cred”. I’ll wait.) And final bonus: these glowing stickers will save me from replacing my keyboard every year or two. Huzzah for clever innovations!
There are almost no words to describe the sheer, gleeful amusement I experienced when I found this USB pole dancer toy. Literally, I think I let out a squee. A proper feminist, I am not!
Candi is her name, and pole dancing is her game! Plug her into the USB and audio port on your computer, and whenever a sound plays, this pole dancing girl swivels and gyrates around like it’s her job (though you might lose yours if you take this to work – but what a way to go!) And if this decidedly non-PC PC pole dancer is too much of a treasure to leave behind when your computer time is done, Candi will also gladly groove to the tunes of your choosing on any mp3 player. Sure, watching a pole dancer doll do her thang to “Pour Some Sugar On Me” would be fun, but why not mix it up with a playlist of classical music or Christian pop?
Yes, I am definitely going to hell.
This right here is easily the most stylish and functional vajayjay I’ve ever seen! (Not that I’ve witnessed that many lady parts up close and personal, mind you. Ahem.) Feast your eyes and flex your fingers for the G-Point Vagina Mouse!
Now before you get too titillated by excitement, I have some bad news to break: the G-Point Mouse is (as yet) only a design concept. But a damn sexy one it is! The mouse comes with an extra special button that can be mapped to your favorite website (Geek Gems or Scarlettopia of course!) and a sleek, supple exterior that just begs to be stroked. Just remember, lads – a PC pointing device is no acceptable substitute for a real life woman, but it may just give you a leg up (or finger up?) for the secrets to pleasing your current or future lady love. She can thank me later.
G-Point Mouse Design [thanks to @stuartnewsom for the tip!]