Know what doesn’t break out nearly randomly enough? Hockey games.

Not many droll, drab tux-and-tails affairs couldn’t be improved vastly by 12 gentlemen and ladies spontaneously fashioning a crude puck of a canapé or tuna can, sticks from a few brooms (or, would one be so inclined, actual hockey sticks), and a net from a pet kennel or fireplace. And here you go, folks: now, you needn’t even want for skates.

The friction-resistant plastic base and foam foot grip of Simtec’s Carpet Skates fit over any athletic shoe (up to an adult size 15) with an adjustable hook and loop closure. Find a big carpeted room with some wide open space, like a hotel conference or banquet room, and imagine that any place is center ice at Madison Square Garden. For you showier sorts, check out the DVD that comes included with your carpet skates with bonus performance tips and artsy tricks.

Or … just glue it together with about six or seven other DVDs, and you’ve got another puck. Watch the DVD. Hit the DVD. To each, their own.

If Clerks should’ve taught us anything, it’s that there isn’t a bad place on God’s green Earth for a good pick-up game. Whoopity-doo, so Mom told you never to play ball in the house? Don’t use a ball. Use a puck. GAME ON!

  Simtec Fun Slides Skates ($15)

When we wrote about Star Wars nursery themed items, the response was awesome – and though we here at Geek Gems are collection of (presently?) childless gamers n’ nerds, we still have a soft spot for gems that appeal especially to the youngins and their awesomely geek-savvy parents. That’s why there was some seriously “d’awww” action going down when I spied these Super Mario quilts for kids:

The one-of-a-kind, handmade baby quilts by GeekUnique are something any parent with a soft spot for classic gaming would be proud to tuck around their toddler. While I especially love the nod to Super Mario Brothers with the Mario and Princess Peach quilts, other gaming favorites are also given their kid quilt dues, including Donkey Kong, Frogger and Legend of Zelda. The crib-sized quilts are sized at 36×36″, and while you could certainly mount them on the wall as geeky nursery accessories, these keepsakes are clearly meant to be cuddled. Game on!

  Lil’ Geek Quilts ($69.99 and up)

Something about the Donkey Kong legacy has always rubbed me just a little bit the wrong way. Remember, Mario started out a do-gooder playing defense, making a beeline to Princess Pauline and avoiding Kong’s barrels but never so much spoiling for a fight. Then came Donkey Kong Jr. That chunky plumber went on the offensive and kidnapped the Simian Superman, leaving a young ape all alone facing the world. Come on, that’s making things personal. That’s involving family. Don’t be that guy, fat man. Don’t be that guy.

That’s why I’m not really sure I could abide by the unique, alternative rules of Jenga: Donkey Kong Edition.

It’s a pretty standard Jenga game overall that most people have played at least once. Pull the blocks, replace the blocks, don’t send the tower tumbling. Ah, but scope out the original Donkey Kong tower of girders along the one side in glorious 8-painted-bit glory! The ball’s now in your court: play by Jenga’s traditional rules, or spin the spinner and advance the “Mario” piece up the tower and once more into a smack-down with a certain tradesman who just never knew when to back off.

At the very least, Donkey Kong Jenga is a nice little collectible showpiece. But I just can’t help but wish someone had fashioned some alternate rules wherein one player keeps advancing Mario upward, and another player is tasked with removing strategic pieces one by one, until imaginary ton after ton of rubble and girders hurdle downward onto the douche’s melon. Maybe it’s just me. ;)

  Donkey Kong Jenga ($19.99)

Geeks aren’t “born” – people are. Geeks are molded. So start your brood off right with nerdy baby clothes!

From the people who gave the world the snarky, ode-to-bookworms library comic Unshelved, comes awesome infant attire that will sew some fertile cerebral seeds early. When discussing my childhood, I like telling people that “Sesame Street taught me to read. Reading Rainbow taught me why I should read.” Well this sweet little Helvetica-print “Read To Me” onesie just makes things nice and direct.

Speaking of nostalgia for things I watched growing up in the 80′s, any nerd worth their salt can’t help but instinctively play along when “you remind me of the babe” is muttered within earshot. So treat your tot to a dose of the legendary Labyrinth with the “Babe With The Power” onesie. But don’t hold us responsible if a well-endowed Goblin King absconds with your little one!

  “Read To Me” Onesie ($14.95)

  “Babe With The Power” Onesie ($12.99)

Since there seems to be a small Star Wars kick going on around Geek Gems, I figured I should find a neat little Star Wars item to throw into the mix!

My days, weeks, and months of searching were finally put to an end when I was lead to this amazing chibi-esque Darth Vader alarm clock lamp! It even has chubby little body that makes up the base of the lamp and makes Darth look super-huggable and both kid and adult friendly. The dark lamp shade could also provide some appropriate evil lighting, since it appears to be tinted and all.

A plain Darth Vadar lamp would have been cool enough, but don’t have to worry about finding an alarm clock to set next to this little guy. This lamp has a digital alarm clock right on its torso! It’s also able to play music from your MP3 player through its speakers, meaning you could have him blast out the Imperial March every time somebody enters the room he inhabits, or humiliate him by playing Ke$ha through his speakers, or even JarJar quotes. Now … somebody find an MP3 of Darth saying “I am your father”. That’s my kind of wake-up call!

  Darth Vader Alarm Lamp ($49.99)

Coloring is a timeless past time; you’re never too young or too old to grab a box of crayons and color in that picture of Pinkie Pie from that My Little Pony coloring book. However, you can get tired of the same old crayons very quickly. I mean, those things never change! They have always had their thin, cylindrical structure. Totally boring, right? How about spicing up your hum-drum crayon box with some awesome robot crayons!

Who wouldn’t have a blast coloring with bright robot shapes? If you think you wouldn’t, just imagine having these little guys on a shelf for display, or using them to act out the great robot war between red and yellow over who will have control of orange and his mysterious ability to love. I’d say that potential adventure alone makes this set worth buying. Well that, and come on – you’d be the coolest person around if somebody wanted to color and you whipped these great little guys out. ;)

  Lil Doodlers Robots ($8.95)

One of Geek Gems’ most popular posts has long been the Baby Star Wars Art Prints; knowing so many of our visitors are looking for Star Wars baby stuff makes me a little melty on the inside (geeky parents, FTW!) So I’ve collected a plethora of awesome baby Star Wars themed items to share – from artwork and decor, to clothing and costumes, and even more. Enjoy!

Etsy’s artisans never fail to impress when it comes to putting a unique spin on a pop culture classic. Sure, you could decorate a nursery or toddler’s room with Star Wars prints and posters, but whimsy is never out of place in your little one’s bedroom. While GinormousRobot’s prints will always be a favorite, these Star Wars baby art selections have charm to spare!

From Top:

  Darth Vader Print ($20)

  Baby Jawa ($100)

  Star Wars Prints ($10)

  Darth Vader Riding a Unicorn ($15)

A Star Wars nursery theme would be incomplete without adorable bedding to go with. While most of these sheet sets are too large for typical crib/toddler mattresses, Star Wars fabric is very hard to come by these days, so they could easily be resized to fit your needs. Or pull a reverse Julie Andrews and turn one set into curtains!

  Star Wars Sheeting ($59)

  Clone Wars Toddler Bedding Set ($34)

  Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back Sheeting ($59)

Honoring your love for all things Vader & Co doesn’t mean you’re relegated to decor; get interactive with the Star Wars ABC book (“S is for Stormtrooper!”) and the adorable Star Wars plush figures. Just try not to squee over squishy Yoda. We dare you! And when it comes time to introduce your little one to grown up food, you won’t have to “use the Force” to get them to eat with the Star Wars plate and bowl set.

  Star Wars ABC Book ($12.99)

  Star Wars Plush ($9.99)

  Star Wars Tabletop Set ($19)

  

Remember when you first saw your baby pictures and were mortified at the crazy outfits your parents put you in? (I’m still coping with that “Scarlett as pumpkin” photo.) Well, somehow that clarity goes out the window when you’re the parent and you see something as freakishly adorable as these Princess Leia and Yoda hats. “So warm, my head is!”

  Princess Leia Baby Hairdo Hat ($19.95)

  Baby Yoda Beanie ($24)

Wrapping up our roundup are the baby Star Wars costumes collection (choose from Darth Vader, R2D2, Yoda and Princess Leia) and my personal favorite, these Star Wars onesies that are a mixture of bad-ass and super-sweet. The creator of the R2D2 style also has several others in a whimsical kawaii style that are well worth a look!

  Little Star Wars Costumes ($19.99)

  “The Force is Strong With This One” Onesie ($12)

  R2D2 Infant Bodysuit ($23)

Here at Geek Gems, we never quite know what compels our readers to click on a post. Maybe the item sounds cool, quirky, must-have … and sometimes, we suspect it’s the sheer absurdity value. But we promise you, there IS a valid reason why you need this marshallow bow and arrow. Honest!

We’ll let you know just as soon as we think of one.

Oh hey! There is the fact that the marshmallow bow makes a reasonable safe “weapon” toy for your kid (or man of the house) to play with. This mini marshmallow shooter holds up to 25 of the little buggers (pro-tip: use the stale ones for extra sting!) Then you just pull back the bow and let fly, rapid-fire style. The manufacturer claims that your marshmallows will land up to 30 feet away, depending upon how hard you snap the string. But if you’d rather save your chewy sweets for cups of hot cocoa, we suspect that soft foam earplugs would also do the trick – and be even safer for the kiddies. Because lets be honest: your initial thought will be to station a loved one a couple dozen feet away and see if you can shoot marshmallows straight into their mouth. Don’t even lie.

Note: Geek Gems takes no responsibility for any body parts or genitals that are harmed in the course of your deviant use of the marshmallow bow and arrow!

  Marshmallow Bow & Mallow ($16.99)

When I was a kid, I was mega obsessed with crayons. I’m still fascinated in many ways, delighted by those sticks of wax and dyes that can produce such artistic loveliness. Or in my case, a giant mess. Hey, at least I sorted out how to color in the lines! … Mostly.

Crayons come in many packs and color combinations, but you could always tell my favorite colors by which ones were soon worn down to nubs. So I love the idea that Crayola came up with a way to salvage these stubs with their unique crayon melter, which uses the heat of a light bulb to transform your waning waxy bits back into sleek sticks.

The best part is that this gadget encourages the mixing and melding of different colors, which means creating swirls and shades you’d never find in a standard collection. Viva la color revolution! [via SlashGear]

Crayola Crayon Maker ($28.25)

There are rare occasions when I see something absolutely adorable and immediately think something along the lines of “zomg I need 2 hav babiez right nao!” Thankfully, I come back to my senses pretty quickly. Trust me – the world isn’t ready for my spawn. But I digress!

If I did have myself a crumbsnatcher or two, these supremely sweet geek sheets would make a perfectly suitable nerd bedding ensemble. They sport all manner of colorful characters, from spacemen to dinosaurs to ninjas, and my favorite: what appears to be a dancing strip of bacon. Hilarity! All the essentials to bring your wee one up to speed on what’s awesome in life. Hey, it sure beats the New Kids On The Block sheet set that I grew up with. Don’t judge me!

Kids Geeky Twin Bed Sheets ($14.99)