When I was a kid, my family went to a lot of minor league hockey games, and man did I have a blast! The raucous crowds, the smell of spilled Pabst Blue Ribbon, the ubiqitous “We’re #1″ foam finger that was always perched atop my pre-adolescent fist. But perhaps my favorite part of these games (besides the fights – c’mon, we all love hockey fights) was watching the Zamboni. While those around me clamored to the concession stands for over-priced hot dogs and related gruel, I sat in awe watching the big machine smoothly resurface the ice in deft, perfectly spaced strokes. I once had a dream of becoming a Zamboni operator, I’ll have you know. It was right up there with “rock star” and “astronaut”. Hey, it’s good to have goals!
These days my hockey game attendance has waned, but I still love a good Zamboni, so when I saw this desktop vacuum, I couldn’t help but give a little squee. Sure, there are plenty of capable mini desk vacuums out there, but do they boast the awesome, time honored designed of the exalted Zamboni? I think not! Plunk in 4 AAA batteries and let the palm-sized beast have at it, sucking up all manner of crumbs and small debris from your desktop until it’s as clean and smooth as freshly resurfaced ice. Then pop a PBR and raise your foam hand aloft in victory, because that was some pucking cool vacuuming action. ;)
I have a serious yen for pens, and they have a serious penchant for running out of ink on me. Ballpoint, roller balls, felt tip – you name it, they all lose their panache for mah penmanship so quickly, you’d swear I was sucking the ink out of them like some kind of fiend. For the record, that’s just not my style. Sniffing Sharpies is where it’s at! (I kid, I kid!)
So if you share in my inkless woes, check out this super-stylish inkless metal pen (which could just as easily be considered a metal pencil, come to think of it). The solid alloy tip distributes tiny amounts of metal upon use, visibly looking similar to writing in pencil, but better! It never needs refilling, sharpening, or any kind of maintenance. You can swipe it with some sandpaper to get a finer tip, but even with constant use, the inkless pen will last a lifetime.
Curiously, one of the metal pen’s main selling points is that you can write with it upside down. How hilarious would it be to whip out your pen and a pad of paper and start scribbling notes while your partner is engaging you in, ahem, “intimate activities”? They might be insulted at first, but just tell them they’re so good at pleasuring, you wanted to give them a metal.
… Get it? Oh you snickered, don’t even lie. ;)
I’m curious about who the intended recipient is for this chocolate scented calculator. It seems like it would drive a chocoholic crazy, and it it would either be a popular distraction or completely irritating in class or the office. But it would make a pretty funny (if completely wicked) gag gift for that friend of yours who is always trying to watch her weight.
You: “Check it out! I got you a chocolate calculator so you can enjoy the delicious aroma of a Hershey bar without actually eating one. And hey, you can use it to add up all the calories you’ll be saving!”
Her: “Die in a fire.”
Zamboni Desk Vacuum ($19.95)
