Normally I’m not one for little carved dolls. A lot of them just look … odd to me. Even the ones that can be taken apart to reveal a littler doll and then an even littler one (known as matryoshka or nesting dolls), until you’re left with something super small. Fun as they may be, I could not bring myself to like those beady-eyed pieces of wood. But these utterly adorable Zelda and Link dolls are changing my mind fast!

These two hand painted wooden dolls would make great accent pieces to any geeky décor! They could also make unique collectibles for children or for that man/woman-child in your life that has a deep-seated fondness for the Legend of Zelda series. The creator, Etsy artisan MyLittleNiche, even recommends them as one of a kind wedding cake toppers for Zelda fans. Now that’s geekalicious!

  Twilight Princess Zelda & Link Wooden Dolls ($38.50)

Well, that’s it, fellow gamers: the portable, interactive 3D gaming race ended before some even knew it had begun in earnest. Sorry, Microsoft and Sony, but your next console gimmick is in another product R&D think-tank.

As with the Wii before it, Nintendo’s latest licensed system has leaped beyond the pack and redefined “interaction” with the Super Mario Bros Crystal Maze Game. Portability? Play it anywhere you can hold the “console” fairly steady! Play it on a desk-top – literally, atop any desk with a little unused space. Try it on your “lap-top” anywhere; whether you’re sitting in a car, on a bus or just getting comfy in an easy chair, if you have a lap, you can set this atop it and go nuts for hours!

Did we mention it’s also very, very energy-conscious? It runs on an awesome, clean-burning energy that recharges easily without a single A/C adapter or outlet. When energy starts running low, charging up for more gaming takes one simple step. We recommend a nap!

What about the visual resolution, though? Well, getting over the Nintendo DSi’s “Augmented Reality” 3D technology didn’t take long. Reach out a hand and try touching the maze’s clear, colored walls. Oh my stars, you say – you can actually feel them? That’s because they’re really there! Really!

But what of gameplay? With responsive controls that tilt the maze with your hand’s every move atop the joystick, you’ll navigate a small ball through three castles en route to the one where Bowser holds your Fair Lady captive. Incredible sound engineering augments the reality – you’ll hear the ball “clack” against the plastic walls with every turn as if it were happening in your very lap. And as you clear each castle, a flag actually rises from each one in tribute to the winner that is you.

Augmented reality? Fad. This sort of technology Nintendo has just now harnessed and licensed needn’t be next-gen, because it’s proven in previous “generations.” Hands-on, challenging gaming that any gamer young or old could handle and find entertaining? The Super Mario Maze Game is it, friends. Your future is now.

  Japanese Super Mario Crystal Maze Game ($24.99)

Can you say d’awwww? Well I’m sure you did when you saw the picture that comes with this post. Isn’t it absolutely adorable? Your very own Super Mario Luma plushie is just begging to be hugged!

Made of sugar and fleece and everything nice, these Luma plush toys are designed to be super cuddly and make for a perfect companion to a child – or a girl who happens to love cute things, or any Super Mario Galaxy fanatic, for that matter. It could even make a nice companion to a Halloween costume, or for a Mario Galaxy themed bedroom. And come on, who wouldn’t want to tote this lil’ guy around? Even the manliest of men would love to! Seriously, just go around asking. I bet not a single man will tell you he wouldn’t love this little thing.

A Luma plushie also makes a way better companion than shoving a little yippie dog into your purse. True fax.

  Mario Galaxy Luma Plushes ($20 – $25)

I’m a gentle, peaceful kind of guy, as many tech-geeks are. Yet there are times when someone I run into provokes me and stokes my fires of anger until I feel “I just want to shoot that jerk!” Of course, bullets hurt, felony convictions tend to put a damper on one’s online gaming time, and, seriously: do you know how hard it is to get bloodstains out of a carpet? So I grind my teeth, swallow my anger and think to myself “next time …”

Well, good news, folks: “next time” is now! With the AirZooka air bazooka, you have all the satisfaction of shooting that unpleasant someone who is pushing your buttons, without using a dangerous projectile, for the AirZooka shoots nothing more harmful than a cyclonic blast of air! Yep, that’s right – you can send an atmospheric swirl at a target over 20 feet away; it even comes with a laser sight for pin-point accuracy. And hey – there’s no incriminating ammunition residue: even the geniuses at C.S.I. can’t run a test for AirZooka air gun firing!

Of course, annoying pests are hardly the only target for your new AirZooka,. You can tousle-at-a-distance the hair of that Miss (or Mister) Priss two cubicles over who spends 4 hours on hair styling. Want to mess with a drowsy friend half-asleep on the futon? Send a mini-tornado at them from across the room. And while I certainly don’t advocate animal cruelty, I can’t wait to send a blast of air at whichever of my cats woke me up at 2:47 this morning by chewing my hair.

So, get yourself an AirZooka bazooka and begin your atmospheric reign of terror. Or better yet, get two and have apocalyptic battles with the breeziest of elements!

  AirZooka Air Gun ($12.99)

I am not the only one who would cast a suspicious eye upon Dr. Sigmund Freud’s historically straight-laced visage. I can’t be.

Come on – over a century before accountants started buying Harleys and getting tattooed in denial of their profession’s inherent weenie nature, the father of modern psychology was cutting the occasional line of coke, dwelling on motherly sexuality, and yet draping himself in drab duds that would make Ward Cleaver tell him to “chillax”. Centuries of decay since his death haven’t done any favors to how bold couture befitting a bold mind would flatter his form, but now we can at least take a pretty good guess!

Now if you want Dr. Freud forever immortalized and displayed amongst your knick-knacks wearing the Dr. Frasier Crane Fall Collection, that’s your prerogative – and the Sigmund Freud action figure is the best bet for you. But try letting go and decking out Vienna’s favorite son with biker leather, a Mohawk, and some phat LL Cool J gold-rope chains. Or try stuffing him into a straight-jacket and asking him honestly, “so …. how does that make you feel?”

  Sigmund Freud Figure ($11.99)

  Freudian Finery Magnetic Dress Up Kit ($15.29)

Here at Geek Gems, we never quite know what compels our readers to click on a post. Maybe the item sounds cool, quirky, must-have … and sometimes, we suspect it’s the sheer absurdity value. But we promise you, there IS a valid reason why you need this marshallow bow and arrow. Honest!

We’ll let you know just as soon as we think of one.

Oh hey! There is the fact that the marshmallow bow makes a reasonable safe “weapon” toy for your kid (or man of the house) to play with. This mini marshmallow shooter holds up to 25 of the little buggers (pro-tip: use the stale ones for extra sting!) Then you just pull back the bow and let fly, rapid-fire style. The manufacturer claims that your marshmallows will land up to 30 feet away, depending upon how hard you snap the string. But if you’d rather save your chewy sweets for cups of hot cocoa, we suspect that soft foam earplugs would also do the trick – and be even safer for the kiddies. Because lets be honest: your initial thought will be to station a loved one a couple dozen feet away and see if you can shoot marshmallows straight into their mouth. Don’t even lie.

Note: Geek Gems takes no responsibility for any body parts or genitals that are harmed in the course of your deviant use of the marshmallow bow and arrow!

  Marshmallow Bow & Mallow ($16.99)

“Need” or “usefulness” just doesn’t enter into some things’ appeal. Every now and then, that little sensible voice that talks you down from an indulgent-spending high just yammers incessantly until you say “I’m sorry, Jiminy Conscience. I wasn’t paying attention at all. I was too busy trying to sell my gall bladder on Bucks4Bladders.com to cover my walking, talking, voice command R2D2.” Sure, it’s $199.95. Sure, that’s almost half my monthly bills. But it’s a 15″ detail-perfect robotic R2D2 that obeys over 40 voice commands! You just can’t slap a price tag on potential entertainment like this.

Owners of children (and small, mild-mannered pets) will get their money’s worth from this headstrong little droid’s motion sensors. R2 plays tag by searching out people in a room using an infrared sensor. His motion sensor also lets him either follow behind anyone or when he’s stationary, can be used as a motion-activated alarm. That’ll teach the kids to go on a pre-Yuletide present scouting expedition.

Play with the little fellow’s moods while you’re at it. He apparently sometimes gets a little pissy, but snaps to if you just admonish him with an “R2, behave yourself!” Then perk him right up by having him dance to cantina band music, asking him a few “yes” or “no” question to answer or just letting him replay some choice Star Wars sound clips.

If that doesn’t convince you, I have only one question: what’s the market value these days of giving a confused chihuahua a lifelong nervous twitch?

  Voice Activated R2-D2 ($199.95)

Happy Pi Day! Here at Geek Gems, we pine for this day every year – the one day that celebrates one of the world’s most important mathematical constants. Now for those math-minded geeks out there, you could happily peruse the Wikipedia entry for pi and find out all kinds of fascinating things, but we’d take these awesome Pi Day shirts and novelties over theory any day. So shop it up with these unique Pi Day gifts. We think you’ll be truly inspired! ;)

Nerds Love Apple Pi T-Shirt ($28)

Octopi T-Shirt ($19.95)

Pi Be Rational T-Shirt ($19.95)

  

Pi Symbol Ice Cube Tray ($8.99)

Pizza Pi Cutter ($12.99)

  

Little Einstein Collectible ($5.99)

Pi Symbol Shower Curtain ($29.99)

Now THIS is how you re-brand a classic game and make it modern (and awesome) once again!

If you’ve ever had a desire to stick things into the not-so-naughty bits of Tony Stark, now’s your chance! Entertainment Earth is taking pre-orders for the rad Iron Man 2 version of Operation – a game I loved as a kid, even if my unsteady hands always got the best of me. (Good thing I got my imaginary doctorate in sex education instead!) Operation: Iron Man 2 debuted at the 2010 Toy Fair and will be available in March – just in time to whet your appetite for the film release of the sure-fire blockbuster in May. [Via Gizmodo]

Iron Man Operation Game ($23.99)

At first glance, the Telekinesis Obstacle Course looks pretty rad. After all, the idea that you can move an object through a complex course with your mind has “nerdy” and “SCIENCE!” written all over it. But just as a fancy illusion is all smoke and mirrors, this “telekinetic toy” relies heavily on clever handling and user assistance. Yes, you’ll get to levitate an extremely light-weight, fan-propelled ball with your mind (thanks to a headband, earlobe clips, and seven batteries). But that’s about it. You have to turn the knob on the toy to rotate the obstacle course, meaning the ball itself only moves vertically. Somewhat shady marketing? I’d say so. And $100 for a 5 minute distraction? I’ll take a subscription to the Playboy Channel Popular Science instead, thanks!

Telekinetic Obstacle Course ($79.95)