“Hello. My name is Luke Skywalker. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Who hasn’t thought of that classic declaration of paternal revenge when Luke faced Emperor Palpatine? (And be honest: we never actually SAW his hands under those robes, so he could have had 6 fingers!) Well, now there’s a t-shirt that lets you proudly proclaim your support for the biggest “Fight that Might Have Been” since Supes and Spidey took it outside.

In one corner, wearing black with a black helmet, hailing from a galaxy far, far away: Darth “It is your destiny” Vader! In the other corner, direct from Florin, wearing black with a black eye mask: the Dread Pirate Roberts! Gentlemen, let’s keep this a fair fight: no midichlorians, no iocane powder.

Yes, it’s a match-up for the ages as these two bad guys (who are deep down good guys) square off to see who wins the right to be called the Original Man in Black. Darth may have his lightsaber, but remember: never count out the Dread Pirate Roberts, who can come back to life as long as he’s only mostly dead.

Get one of these Dread Pirate Roberts vs. Darth Vader shirts for your favorite Princess Bride / Star Wars fanatic and watch the “who woulda won” discussions begin!

  Darth vs Dread Pirate T-Shirt ($18)

Trekkies really don’t need this spelled out. But since this t-shirt puts a fine point on it anyway, and every episode of every season of every Star Trek series will soon arrive for glorious Netflix streaming …

Never get attached to the ones wearing red. They’re dancing death’s tango, and it’s not a long tune. And never pretend Kirk, Spock, Bones, Picard, Riker, Janeway and the like don’t know this. Starfleet only deems the fine young photon-fodder “ensigns” because “singed and smoking pair of black boots” doesn’t fit the “rank” line on a death certificate. Truth is, they’re walking, talking, one-named range-finders for the ranking officers in the away team to note what exactly denotes a “safe distance” from ugly death.

That distance being, about 50 feet back from where Ensign Rory’s furthest scrap of charred flesh landed. That should do it.

Ah, but never was a red death in vain. Ever since William Shatner’s original 1960s traveling circus, it has been the idiom for “we wouldn’t miss you until it was your turn to cover the bar tab.” So buy this red Star Trek shirt – obviously not for yourself, unless you want to coat yourself with soot and debris and make a self-deprecating Halloween costume of it. Find someone in your life whose cha-cha on your last nerve is getting a touch old. Present shirt. If the death magnet gets the message, then ’nuff said. But should that harbinger of unfortunate random demise bite a thumb at the Geeks of Fate and actually wear the thing, see if on that day your acquaintance wouldn’t mind touring a working construction site. Perhaps a Chilean coal mine.

And if that person wears some slick-looking black boots, make sure they’re your size. They won’t be needing them for long.

  Expendable T-Shirt ($19.99)

Teefury.com is an awesome site that offers limited time sales on completely original (and often nerdalicious) t-shirt designs – and this one is no exception. In fact, we thought today’s design by WinterArtwork was so exceptional, we had to put up a post as quickly as possible so our readers could share the love!

Edit: This design is no longer available from TeeFury, but may be purchased directly from the designer. See the link below!

We’ve seen our share of Firefly tees, but they’re usually not all that special – that’s why I love this Browncoats t-shirt that pays homage specifically to Firefly’s die-hard fans. It’s only available today (April 25th) from TeeFury, so snatch it up soon, Browncoats. Shiny!

  Browncoats Forever T-Shirt ($24)

One of our very favorite Geek Gems retailers is offering an awesome, limited time sale on Doctor Who gifts, action figures and novelties – and we couldn’t resist getting the word out! Now through April 26th, for every two items you purchase from the Doctor Who gift collection, the 2nd one will be discounted at 40% off. This includes everything from Doctor Who action figures to sonic screwdrivers, TARDIS novelties to t-shirts and wearables. They even offer stunningly detailed “masterpiece edition” busts of some of your favorite Doctor Who characters.

The sale on Doctor Who gifts ends on April 26th, and we haven’t found such a comprehensive – or affordable – collection anywhere else, so it’s definitely worth a look!

  Doctor Who Collection ($8.99 and up)

Sometimes my friends say the silliest things, like: “I didn’t really care for the Mass Effect games” or “Scott Pilgrim vs the World wasn’t that good”. And then I laugh evilly as I imagine maiming their faces off in my mind’s eye. But there’s one thing that will incite actual violence, and that’s hating on Wayne’s World, one of my all-time favorite movies. (A slightly lesser offense is the false claim that Wayne’s World 2 was somehow superior. Because it was SO NOT.)

Now I realize it’s been roughly eleventy-billion years since these films first came to the big screen, but relevance is timeless when it comes to Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar. And so are these awesome Wayne’s World t-shirts! Whether you’re paying homage to Stan Mikita (“if you stab a man in the dead of winter, steam will rise up from the wounds”), or remembering the awesome that was Waynestock, these shirts will party on forever.

I do have one complaint though: while these Wayne’s World shirts are all offered in durable cotton blends, none of them are “ribbed for her pleasure”. (Ewwwwww.)

  Noah’s Arcade Tee ($20)

  Stan Mikita’s Donuts Tee ($18)

  Garth Party On Tee ($20)

  Waynestock Tee ($14.95)

I cannot be the only one that’s ever wondered whether the Jedi and Sith respectively ever innovated a few unique lightsaber functions. This gem proves I’m not.

These Star Wars lightsaber chopsticks are geeky, stylish, and nicely detailed. Each of the six character-specific designs – Darth Vader (red), Yoda (green), Luke Skywalker (blue and green versions), Darth Maul (red), and Mace Windu (purple) – actually bear each owner’s unique handle markings, to admirable accuracy. Bonus: the Darth Maul chopsticks snap together to form a dual-sided red lightsaber. Potentially good for food stabbing – not particularly useful for chopsticking!

Sure, saying that the Lucas Films, Ltd. official endorsement brands this as another questionable cash-grab would be easy. But I just can’t lie: I almost want to buy the purple Mace Windu set so that I can find out once and for all if his handle bears the “Bad Motherf***er” inscription (supposedly included on Samuel L. Jackson’s movie-used model as a thank you from Lucas).

  Star Wars Chopsabers ($12.99)

Sooooo … I’m not the biggest Doctor Who fan in the world. In fact, I may have only ever seen the first half of Christopher Eccleston’s season. (But keep that on the down-low; I’ve got a rep to protect!) Still, I’ve been known to make references to the iconic TARDIS from time to time, which trumps even Star Trek’s teleporter in pure, unadulterated win. So if a lackadaisical watcher such as myself got all wide-eyed over the ridiculously cool TARDIS mugs, surely the genuine Doctor Who fan in your life (or in your mirror) would love to sip their morning coffee or cocoa from one of these!

  

“Magic mugs” (as I thought of them whilst growing up) have always fascinated me, and the disappearing TARDIS mug is no exception. One one side, the time machine/spacecraft TARDIS sits innocuously on a street in its British Police Box pose; but add hot liquid and away it goes … only to magically reappear off in outer space (on the other side of the mug). SO. COOL. When it comes to Doctor Who gifts, this would be perfect for young and old fans alike!

  Disappearing TARDIS Coffee Mug ($10.99)

So let’s say disappearing TARDIS mugs aren’t quite your style. If you’re a stickler for authenticity, the meticulously designed Replica TARDIS Mug is crafted in the likeness of the 11th Doctor’s time machine. The lid makes it perfect for keeping your cuppa steamy, and it holds an impressive 16oz of your favorite hot beverage. Actually, we think it would make a great container for all kinds of purposes! (Please note: this particular TARDIS mug is presently sold out but expected to be back in stock in late April 2011.)

  TARDIS Replica Mug ($15.99)

Since there seems to be a small Star Wars kick going on around Geek Gems, I figured I should find a neat little Star Wars item to throw into the mix!

My days, weeks, and months of searching were finally put to an end when I was lead to this amazing chibi-esque Darth Vader alarm clock lamp! It even has chubby little body that makes up the base of the lamp and makes Darth look super-huggable and both kid and adult friendly. The dark lamp shade could also provide some appropriate evil lighting, since it appears to be tinted and all.

A plain Darth Vadar lamp would have been cool enough, but don’t have to worry about finding an alarm clock to set next to this little guy. This lamp has a digital alarm clock right on its torso! It’s also able to play music from your MP3 player through its speakers, meaning you could have him blast out the Imperial March every time somebody enters the room he inhabits, or humiliate him by playing Ke$ha through his speakers, or even JarJar quotes. Now … somebody find an MP3 of Darth saying “I am your father”. That’s my kind of wake-up call!

  Darth Vader Alarm Lamp ($49.99)

One of Geek Gems’ most popular posts has long been the Baby Star Wars Art Prints; knowing so many of our visitors are looking for Star Wars baby stuff makes me a little melty on the inside (geeky parents, FTW!) So I’ve collected a plethora of awesome baby Star Wars themed items to share – from artwork and decor, to clothing and costumes, and even more. Enjoy!

Etsy’s artisans never fail to impress when it comes to putting a unique spin on a pop culture classic. Sure, you could decorate a nursery or toddler’s room with Star Wars prints and posters, but whimsy is never out of place in your little one’s bedroom. While GinormousRobot’s prints will always be a favorite, these Star Wars baby art selections have charm to spare!

From Top:

  Darth Vader Print ($20)

  Baby Jawa ($100)

  Star Wars Prints ($10)

  Darth Vader Riding a Unicorn ($15)

A Star Wars nursery theme would be incomplete without adorable bedding to go with. While most of these sheet sets are too large for typical crib/toddler mattresses, Star Wars fabric is very hard to come by these days, so they could easily be resized to fit your needs. Or pull a reverse Julie Andrews and turn one set into curtains!

  Star Wars Sheeting ($59)

  Clone Wars Toddler Bedding Set ($34)

  Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back Sheeting ($59)

Honoring your love for all things Vader & Co doesn’t mean you’re relegated to decor; get interactive with the Star Wars ABC book (“S is for Stormtrooper!”) and the adorable Star Wars plush figures. Just try not to squee over squishy Yoda. We dare you! And when it comes time to introduce your little one to grown up food, you won’t have to “use the Force” to get them to eat with the Star Wars plate and bowl set.

  Star Wars ABC Book ($12.99)

  Star Wars Plush ($9.99)

  Star Wars Tabletop Set ($19)

  

Remember when you first saw your baby pictures and were mortified at the crazy outfits your parents put you in? (I’m still coping with that “Scarlett as pumpkin” photo.) Well, somehow that clarity goes out the window when you’re the parent and you see something as freakishly adorable as these Princess Leia and Yoda hats. “So warm, my head is!”

  Princess Leia Baby Hairdo Hat ($19.95)

  Baby Yoda Beanie ($24)

Wrapping up our roundup are the baby Star Wars costumes collection (choose from Darth Vader, R2D2, Yoda and Princess Leia) and my personal favorite, these Star Wars onesies that are a mixture of bad-ass and super-sweet. The creator of the R2D2 style also has several others in a whimsical kawaii style that are well worth a look!

  Little Star Wars Costumes ($19.99)

  “The Force is Strong With This One” Onesie ($12)

  R2D2 Infant Bodysuit ($23)

“Need” or “usefulness” just doesn’t enter into some things’ appeal. Every now and then, that little sensible voice that talks you down from an indulgent-spending high just yammers incessantly until you say “I’m sorry, Jiminy Conscience. I wasn’t paying attention at all. I was too busy trying to sell my gall bladder on Bucks4Bladders.com to cover my walking, talking, voice command R2D2.” Sure, it’s $199.95. Sure, that’s almost half my monthly bills. But it’s a 15″ detail-perfect robotic R2D2 that obeys over 40 voice commands! You just can’t slap a price tag on potential entertainment like this.

Owners of children (and small, mild-mannered pets) will get their money’s worth from this headstrong little droid’s motion sensors. R2 plays tag by searching out people in a room using an infrared sensor. His motion sensor also lets him either follow behind anyone or when he’s stationary, can be used as a motion-activated alarm. That’ll teach the kids to go on a pre-Yuletide present scouting expedition.

Play with the little fellow’s moods while you’re at it. He apparently sometimes gets a little pissy, but snaps to if you just admonish him with an “R2, behave yourself!” Then perk him right up by having him dance to cantina band music, asking him a few “yes” or “no” question to answer or just letting him replay some choice Star Wars sound clips.

If that doesn’t convince you, I have only one question: what’s the market value these days of giving a confused chihuahua a lifelong nervous twitch?

  Voice Activated R2-D2 ($199.95)