The birds and the bees? Please – why rely on the innocent and antiquated tales that our grandparents told way back in the day, when you can learn all you need to know about doin’ the nasty from outlets and plugs? Do like the robot-folk do – just make sure to use protection, kids. And remember, those funny “surges” you keep having are perfectly normal! ;-)
Oh Steven Seagal. You were out of the spotlight for a good long while – some might say, not long enough! – only to show up on television terrorizing the streets of Louisiana with your totally zen cop-itude. Now your mean-lookin’ mug is poised to stare down crime from the chests of law-abiding citizens? Bitchin’!
The Flock of Seagals t-shirt is a witty wink to the ’80s band Flock of Seagulls, whom you’d likely only recognize for their distinctive haircuts and massively overplayed tune “I Ran”. Which, ironically enough, is what criminals in Jefferson Parish do every time they see Deputy Steven on the prowl. Srsly, who needs McGruff the Crime Dog when Seagal is on the scene?
Valentine’s Day is but 10 days away, and what better way to profess your <3 for your favorite nerdy chick then to put it all over her chest? … On a t-shirt, I mean. Pervert!
I ♥ My Geek Tee – $18.99
Geek Is Sexy Tee – $18.99
Binary Love Tee – $18.99
Geek Love Poem Tee – $18.99
My favorite is the 8-Bit Dynamic Life Tee, which is so freakin’ sweet it’s nearly guaranteed to delight or nauseate your friends, depending upon their bitterness meter. When you and your beloved are more than 5 meters apart, the light-up decal (which runs on 3 AAA batteries) will only glow up to 2-1/2 hearts. But get a little closer and the hearts on both t-shirts will simultaneously rise to “full health”. If you’re one half of a nerdy dynamic-duo and that doesn’t melt your heart, you have no soul!
8-Bit Dynamic Life Tee – $17.99 – $24.99
But let’s be honest – this Valentine’s Day, it’s all about getting into her pants, amirite? If you’re feeling especially cheeky (pun absolutely intended!) get her the HTTP Panties Set, complete with Hypertext Transfer Protocol status codes that only a net-savvy nerd could love.
HTTP Panties Set – $7.99