I simultaneously revere and pity precious few intellectual pillars quite as I do librarians.
When popular culture isn’t snapping to the stuffy, fuddy-duddy characterization of Buffy The Vampire Slayer’s librarian Rupert Giles, they’re marginalized into repressed (but inwardly slutty) sexpots always one down-low tingle away from letting down that tightly-bun’d hair, flinging aside those bookish Lisa Loeb horn-rimmed glasses, and busting a perfectly good blouse’s buttons.
(Wow, you’d think I’d pondered that last image a few times. Consider especially that I initially typed “bustons,” then wonder where my mind really drifted …)
But I digress; I know at least one librarian very personally myself. What she endures, I wish upon nobody. She shoos wily preteen boys from scoping out porn using library computers, and on at least a few occasions, has sent homeless folk scuttling from bathrooms. All the while, she probably wonders fairly regularly: “Are any of you people actually here for the damn books?!”
She once showed me a comic strip that might appeal at least as much to cynical bookworms as to the librarians who service their collective book-learning jones: Unshelved. The comic strip by librarian Gene Ambaum and cartoonist Bill Barnes first ran on February 16, 2002, and chronicles the misadventures of Mallville Library’s staff, their misfit ape-mascot Buddy and various assorted and odd patrons. The humor can be as dry as a Nevada summer heat, but if you’ve ever felt like the one-eyed king in the land of the intellectually blind, it will strike a chord.
Thousands of strips like these are collected in eight volumes available for prices ranging from $11.95 to $36.95 each. For a small extra charge, the creators will even sign your copy. In fact, splurge for the autograph and give it randomly to a librarian. Say “thank you” in a way he or she will appreciate. And pay your damn fines, while you’re at it!
(By the way, the website also posts fresh strips Monday through Friday, making it well worth “bookmarking.” And yes, that is amongst the last library puns I will ever attempt. I apologize. Truly.)
It’s March 14th, pi-nally! (I’ll wait a few minutes for you to stop chuckling at my punning GENIUS.) What is Pi Day, you ask? Naught but a cheeky holiday – nay, celebration! – observed by quality nerds and math enthusiasts the world over to celebrate the Greek letter of Pi ( π ), which is the symbol for the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. Pi = 3.1415926535… so it’s only fitting that March 14th (3.14) = Pi Day. And now that you’re all edjumacated, let’s look at some awesome holiday-themed gifts that you’ll absolutely pi’ne over. (Somebody, stop me!)
There’s an awesome collection of “math appreciation” and Pi Day Gifts out there, but my favorites are the Albert Einstein action figure (“go go, Gadget Relativity Theory!”); the fantastic – and refreshing! – Pi shaped ice cube tray; and the t-shirt with its iconic symbol constructed from the first 4993 digits of Pi. Freakin’ genius!
I’ve never really been one for viral videos – those brief YouTube clips that circulate the Internets en masse and inspire parodies, tributes, and (in some particularly creepy cases), full out fan worship. But funny, random websites that inspire some 30 second lawls to brighten up a monotonous day? I say, WIN! Here are three of my favorites that I keep on bookmark standby whenever I need a quickie.
… You know what I mean. ;)
Sleep Talkin’ Man
The story behind Sleep Talkin’ Man is that Adam, a mild-mannered English fella, lives a double-life in his dreams, which renders him ultra cheeky, cocky and downright hilarious. His wife, Karen, started putting Adam’s sleep talking quotes in a blog for their friends and family, and a few months later it became the stuff of random Interwebs infamy. You might call it a hoax, but it would have to be a damn elaborate one (their story and site has been picked up by several major news outlets) – and anyway, the quotes are so amusing that it gives me a daily chuckle either way. Here are some favorites:
Lamebook
The art of the Facebook fail is a tricky one – most often, it’s a skill that simply cannot be learned. But if you’d like some schooling on how not to update your Facebook status, there’s no better place for a quality edjumacation than Lamebook, a site that highlights the best of the worst in Facebook statuses, photos, and related hilarity:
Selleck Waterfall Sandwich
Y’know, sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. The photos on this particularly website require only three. Feast your eyes (and stomach) on the delicious randomness of Selleck Waterfall Sandwich.
One classic shot of Tom Selleck, one beautiful waterfall, and one yummy-lookin’ sandwich – all Photoshopped into a brilliant panorama of WTF?! Pretty much the best idea ever.
Ever since sex was invented (y’know, in the 1970s), there have been a variety of little tricks up the sleeves of devious-minded souls. “Just the tip, baby – just to see how it feels” … “I’m on birth control, honestly!” … But until recently, the not-so virtuous at heart (and loins) had nothing to show for their false purity. Enter the Certified Virgin Certificate! Just a dollar and your email address scores you a certificate that “recognizes your virginity” – perfect for displaying to that frigid chick you’ve been eying in church. [/End Sarcasm] In an attempt to make the idea less loathsome, the site states that “a part of your purchase will go to AIDS cure research” – but how much, the site’s not saying. Amazingly though, they claim that 465 certificates have already been sold. I guess nearly 500 wannabe virgins can’t be wrong! [Via Geekologie]
It seems like everyone has a Facebook these days, and with so many members comes so many unique and potentially annoying Facebook personalities to choose from. Which one are you? TheOatmeal.com provides a hysterical and oh-so-accurate breakdown:
That’s only 2 out of 9 – check out How to Suck at Facebook for more hilarity! And for an even more academic breakdown, check out CNN’s own list of The 12 Most Annoying Types of Facebookers. Yes, even CNN is on the story – TMI’ers and Chronic Inviters, I’m talkin’ to you!
