I recently watched the first three Karate Kid movies for the first time in over a decade. I realized something very quickly: Mr. Miyagi is absolutely full of shit.
Movie after movie after movie, he tells Daniel-san, then Julie-san, then I have to presume Son-of-Fresh-Prince-of-Bel-Air-san (since I refuse to see the remake), that they should all avoid fighting no matter the cost. But nearly every single movie, what ends up happening? Miyagi doesn’t exactly offer stubborn resistence to unleashing his “weapon of choice” upon the pair’s designated rival. And by movie’s end, our favorite sawed-off vigilante steps into something that doesn’t concern him at all, and personally waxes on and waxes off the ass of at least a handful of black-belts half the man’s age!
Come to think of it, it’s a small wonder that Ralph Macchio never pondered this and ad libbed in The Karate Kid Part III, “Easy for you to say, you little wrinkly hypocrite! It’s my ass that keeps getting handed to me, not yours!”
Well, someone had to ultimately say it, so it might as well be a t-shirt. By Part III, there was precious little doubt who would be mopping the floor with whose face, or what these two were really thinking every time someone stepped to them. Plain and simple: we will destroy you.
Keep the bodybag, Zabka. You’ll be needing it more than they will.
Trekkies really don’t need this spelled out. But since this t-shirt puts a fine point on it anyway, and every episode of every season of every Star Trek series will soon arrive for glorious Netflix streaming …
Never get attached to the ones wearing red. They’re dancing death’s tango, and it’s not a long tune. And never pretend Kirk, Spock, Bones, Picard, Riker, Janeway and the like don’t know this. Starfleet only deems the fine young photon-fodder “ensigns” because “singed and smoking pair of black boots” doesn’t fit the “rank” line on a death certificate. Truth is, they’re walking, talking, one-named range-finders for the ranking officers in the away team to note what exactly denotes a “safe distance” from ugly death.
That distance being, about 50 feet back from where Ensign Rory’s furthest scrap of charred flesh landed. That should do it.
Ah, but never was a red death in vain. Ever since William Shatner’s original 1960s traveling circus, it has been the idiom for “we wouldn’t miss you until it was your turn to cover the bar tab.” So buy this red Star Trek shirt – obviously not for yourself, unless you want to coat yourself with soot and debris and make a self-deprecating Halloween costume of it. Find someone in your life whose cha-cha on your last nerve is getting a touch old. Present shirt. If the death magnet gets the message, then ’nuff said. But should that harbinger of unfortunate random demise bite a thumb at the Geeks of Fate and actually wear the thing, see if on that day your acquaintance wouldn’t mind touring a working construction site. Perhaps a Chilean coal mine.
And if that person wears some slick-looking black boots, make sure they’re your size. They won’t be needing them for long.
When I was a youngin, I had a lot of themed birthday cakes. Although my visions of cakey goodness were never particularly grandiose, my mom could do wonderful things with vanilla batter, chocolate frosting, piped icing and sprinkles. One thing I never did celebrate a la birthday cake was my fondness for video games, however. Maybe it was deemed too “boyish”, maybe I wanted to fit in with my modest posse by having the requisite girly nosh to go with the bubblegum pink decorations and games of “Truth or Dare”. But had I been a little more wise to my future gamer-geek persuasions, this Space Invaders style arcade cake would have been so up my alley!
Not only is the arcade cake shape delicious on its own, but I love the idea of filling the inside of the cake, rather than heaping layers of frosting outside. Even if your less hip friends have no clue about retro gaming classics of the 80′s, this cake still has lots of fun, geeky style to spare. And who says it has to be for birthdays? Ladies, whip up your new man an arcade cake and watch him exclaim over your ingenuity. Talk about going for the high “score”! ;)
Teefury.com is an awesome site that offers limited time sales on completely original (and often nerdalicious) t-shirt designs – and this one is no exception. In fact, we thought today’s design by WinterArtwork was so exceptional, we had to put up a post as quickly as possible so our readers could share the love!
Edit: This design is no longer available from TeeFury, but may be purchased directly from the designer. See the link below!
We’ve seen our share of Firefly tees, but they’re usually not all that special – that’s why I love this Browncoats t-shirt that pays homage specifically to Firefly’s die-hard fans. It’s only available today (April 25th) from TeeFury, so snatch it up soon, Browncoats. Shiny!
The world has remade, rebooted, rehashed, reimagined and redone so many already great things, but often times nothing whatsoever was actually improved from the original to the updated. On the other hand, sometimes brilliant advancements and evolutions arrive whose appeal we can’t deny enjoying, even if the old stuff always holds a place in our hearts.
Take recording technology, for example. Vinyl never completely died. Hipsters, discerning audiophiles and the fortunate ones who remember the halcyon days of Hi-Fi appreciate that stalwart recording technology’s unique nuances (and limitless, nostalgic iconography of music history’s greatest days) and will forever embrace it. On the other hand, this is the information age; portability and instant accessibility is king, and a Hi-Fi-tricked-out Prius would just price anybody right out of ever owning one. But here’s one hot hybrid well worth setting your sights on.
The Crosley USB Record Player means you’ll never have to make up your mind, picking up one and leavin’ the other behind. This portable throwback is encased in a stylish black or tan case with all the simple character of a vintage component. The three-speed, belt-driven turntable will play 33.33, 45 or 78 RPM records with a diamond-stylus needle and dynamic full-range stereo speakers and adjustable tone control.
But here’s your real kick in the head: should you feel so inclined, plug in the equipped USB cable to any computer and use the included software suite to convert your vinyl treasures to portable mp3 back-ups, or your CD collection.
If you treasure your vinyl library, don’t ask yourself, “is this worth the price?” Don’t even necessarily ask those musical treasures’ collective monetary worth. Ask yourself, would my heart break if losing those records cost me more golden musical memories than any dollar amount could buy back? Maybe you can’t afford not to have a USB turntable converter in your home audio equipment collection.
“We Will Destroy You” Tee ($19 and up)
