Ever since sex was invented (y’know, in the 1970s), there have been a variety of little tricks up the sleeves of devious-minded souls. “Just the tip, baby – just to see how it feels” … “I’m on birth control, honestly!” … But until recently, the not-so virtuous at heart (and loins) had nothing to show for their false purity. Enter the Certified Virgin Certificate! Just a dollar and your email address scores you a certificate that “recognizes your virginity” – perfect for displaying to that frigid chick you’ve been eying in church. [/End Sarcasm] In an attempt to make the idea less loathsome, the site states that “a part of your purchase will go to AIDS cure research” – but how much, the site’s not saying. Amazingly though, they claim that 465 certificates have already been sold. I guess nearly 500 wannabe virgins can’t be wrong!
Certified Virgin Certificate [via Geekologie]
Valentine’s Day is but 10 days away, and what better way to profess your <3 for your favorite nerdy chick then to put it all over her chest? … On a t-shirt, I mean. Pervert!
I ♥ My Geek Tee – $18.99
Geek Is Sexy Tee – $18.99
Binary Love Tee – $18.99
Geek Love Poem Tee – $18.99
My favorite is the 8-Bit Dynamic Life Tee, which is so freakin’ sweet it’s nearly guaranteed to delight or nauseate your friends, depending upon their bitterness meter. When you and your beloved are more than 5 meters apart, the light-up decal (which runs on 3 AAA batteries) will only glow up to 2-1/2 hearts. But get a little closer and the hearts on both t-shirts will simultaneously rise to “full health”. If you’re one half of a nerdy dynamic-duo and that doesn’t melt your heart, you have no soul!
8-Bit Dynamic Life Tee – $17.99 – $24.99
But let’s be honest – this Valentine’s Day, it’s all about getting into her pants, amirite? If you’re feeling especially cheeky (pun absolutely intended!) get her the HTTP Panties Set, complete with Hypertext Transfer Protocol status codes that only a net-savvy nerd could love.
HTTP Panties Set – $7.99
It seems like everyone has a Facebook these days, and with so many members comes so many unique and potentially annoying Facebook personalities to choose from. Which one are you? TheOatmeal.com provides a hysterical and oh-so-accurate breakdown:
That’s only 2 out of 9 – check out How to Suck at Facebook for more hilarity! And for an even more academic breakdown, check out CNN’s own list of The 12 Most Annoying Types of Facebookers. Yes, even CNN is on the story – TMI’ers and Chronic Inviters, I’m talkin’ to you!
I’m well aware that I may be the only geek on planet Earth who hasn’t yet purchased my copy of Mass Effect 2, but where you see fail, I see smarts! After all, my spidey senses were tingling (in a not altogether unpleasant manner) and I had a feeling that some quality deals would pop up shortly after the ME2 release. And hark, here they come! For the next 38-ish hours, you can pick up your copy of Mass Effect 2 for PC for only $39.90 at GoGamer – and to sweeten the deal, you’ll get free shipping with coupon code SHIPFREE25. That’s about $7 cheaper than Amazon.com, which is always my go-to place for the best deals. I wouldn’t miss out on this one!
Mass Effect 2 for PC – $39.90 + free shipping (code: SHIPFREE25) [via DealNews]