Wine connoisseurs enjoy the very finest beverage-enjoyment innovations. Give true vino-philes and sommeliers their deserved due: their fervent fascinations with the meticulous details that make and define a fine wine have made fruitful their pursuits of ways to better enjoy one of the world’s oldest adult libations.
From the time Jesus re-stocked the bar at a dry wedding, necessity has been the mother of invention. We’ve seen aerators that will enhance a low-quality, cheap wine’s flavor noticeably; electric corkscrews, and manual ones that resemble deformed drill presses; I’ve even found an infrared wine thermometer and single bottle wine cellar with customizable temperature and humidity settings. Few aficionados take enjoying their passions to heart quite as wine lovers do.
And oh, the troubles this Instant Wine Bottle Chiller solves. I’m no sommelier, but I do love good wine. Unfortunately, it’s proven every time I want a chilled Chardonnay or white port that forethought might never be my strongest suit. I rarely have something chilled when I want it, and by the time a hastily refrigerated bottle would finally cool to the perfectly chilled temperature, oftentimes I just don’t desire a glass any longer.
Sure, I could start making a habit of always having a bottle gettin’ chilly in the fridge – or I could just toss this wine bottle chiller spout in a freezer for six hours before using, and instantly cool a room temperature wine up to 15°F with a single pour. The thermos-like shell will keep the internal stainless steel pouring tube cold enough to chill an entire bottle, and covering the spout’s air inlet with a thumb will slow the flow, keeping the wine chilling longer inside the spout before it exits into the glass.
In case the rock you’ve been living under isn’t cable-ready, the lights go out on humanity tonight. So consider this the Mortal Coil’s “Going out of Business Sale”, and this Portal tee shirt is the Blue Light Special, courtesy of RIPT Apparel! If this is really it, think hard about what else you’re really going to spend that $10 on tomorrow.
No one has said yet just exactly what will be flipping the human race’s kill-switch, but if should it happen to be Mr. Wheatley, the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived, only the strongest and toughest-tested will survive. You’d better be damn sure to eat your Wheatley’s, the smartest cereal that could possibly bear the name of something that stupid. Wear this shirt with pride, test survivors – and remember this when idiocy ends the world: you can’t spell “Aperture” without “rapture.”
This balanced apocalyptic breakfast has been brought to you by Aperture Laboratories: re-arranging Rapture for over 50 years!
Aliens are such sly buggers. They stealthily swarm into our atmosphere, confounding us with mysterious lights in the night sky and leaving eerie crop circles in our fields by day. But to what end? I’ll admit: inspiring conspiracy theories in their notoriously suggestible human friends must be a hoot, but surely there’s a greater plan afoot?
If you believe the stories told by Masquefaire’s spaceship earrings, the message is clear: it’s not us they’re after. But our livestock, automobiles and extinct species? Beam ‘em up, Scotty!
I can’t get enough of these ever-so cheeky and whimsically freaky earrings; makes me long for the ’80s, when you could barely last a day without hearing someone using that classic catchphrase, “where’s the beef?” If I’d only had a pair of these alien earrings, I’d touch them softly, then cast a furtive glance at the asker, a finger pointed solemnly toward the sky.
The truth is out there. ;)
My sweet tooth doesn’t often gain a foothold – but when it does, I catch myself lamenting being caught without a handy emergency fix. My freezer tells my dietary sensibilities’ story: meat with sides of meat. Chicken, fish, beef and game leave precious little room for much else. Besides, on tight a budget, spending extra on tubs of ice cream and boxes of popsicles I won’t dig into but once every couple months or so and can’t even store makes precious little sense.
But still, what a fellow would give at times like that for a quick, no-muss fix … oh, and as long as I’m getting greedy, how about something reasonably healthy, too?
The Zoku Popsicle Maker will freeze three tasty, custom treats in about ten minutes, as long as it’s been primed in the freezer at least 24 hours before. From there, the three die-cast aluminum molds will freeze fresh fruit, juice, pudding or any other filling or ingredient smoother and with fewer ice crystals than anything you could pull from a grocer’s freezer.
And just because I’ve known nary an adult who every so often doesn’t have to compromise with an inner moppet, I have to wonder what a delicious White Russian-pop could taste like. Or if I could stop at just one …
Magnets are just the most endlessly utilitarian application of elementary scientific knowledge this side of electricity – and just think what happens when those two come together!
From picking up big piles of scrap iron and moving them through the air and across a crowded junkyard with a crane, to comically confusing the Insane Clown Posse, and to powering these ingenious magnetic wristbands, their seemingly magic powers know no bounds. Name the small metal part or implement you could easily lose quick as a sneeze or accidentally tipping a bowl or pan over a drain, and this “+1,000,000 Bracer Of Holding” will keep it close at hand.
Nuts? Bolts? Nails? Screws? Washers? Needles? Strap the comfortable velcro strap around a wrist, and go anywhere while safely and conveniently carrying any little metal part you could need. From any position your hand could turn, they’ll stay put in a field of suspended AWESOME!
Don’t chuckle! Magnets of magic science are worth the exclamation point!
Personally, I love the idea of magnetic wristband most just because it eliminates a persistent safety concern I always have. I’ve many times stood atop a stool, chair or shelf fixing something and feared teetering backwards as Gravity laughs in my comical, wide-eyed face as I fall. A busted tailbone or broken neck only begins my worries. Half the time, my chompers are clenching nails and screws that could shred my mouth and throat on the way down my gullet. So thank you, miracle magnetic wristbands, for ensuring a nail will never choke me.
Ravi Wine Chiller ($38.36)
